Today’s ramble, my first ramble (technically now my second)
Firstly, thank you Cass for getting me onto this. Secondly, the meaning behind the title of ‘undiscovered’, is that I am on the vigorous search to find myself and the person I have always aspired to be. It’s certainly difficult yet very eye opening. And I don’t really intend on people reading this, it’s more of a venting tool for myself. But by all means, go ahead.
Eye opener #1:
So I have a boyfriend and have a had for over a year now and he is by far the most amazing person in my life. But time and time again I screw up. And while he says it’s okay, I fear that one day it won’t be.
Today’s Example; being that it was just holidays we spent almost everyday together, something that I grew very comfortable and used to. However, now him being back at school, it’s a little more challenging. I get so annoyed when I can’t see him and from then on all I can do is think about him. It’s hard when I can look back and remember how independent I was and how I relied on no one but myself. I suddenly realise now how things have changed. All I rely on now is him. I can’t stand being without him, to a point where it is probably really unhealthy, to a point where I work myself up into a state and get so angry. So I set this challenge to myself; find that person I used to be, who didn’t mind the time to herself. Find her and find independence. And to Tim, I love you and I’m sorry, this is me trying. I can’t stand being without you but we both know that I need to learn, for both of our sakes. You truly are everything and sometimes I think I just push too hard. I never want to be without you and I always want you in my life. Don’t you ever forget that.
Ta ta.
